No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
