so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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