Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
