He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
