genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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