As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
