Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
