I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
