my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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