So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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