my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
