If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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