If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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