She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
