How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
