so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
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you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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