i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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