She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
