I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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