Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
