I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
