mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
