haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I supernannyed him into submission
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
