You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
