she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
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Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
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I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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