Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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