so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
