Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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