Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
