were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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