it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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