Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
