If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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