Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
