Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
