Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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