i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
