Barsexuality is the new black.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
