I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
