i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
false alarm. still invincible.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
