Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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