i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
