He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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