woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I enjoy the company of your penis
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
