You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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