Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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