bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I think your dad took our porno
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
