My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
