dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
