my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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