He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
