Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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