I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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