No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
