that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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