TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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