I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
