You were right. It hurts to walk today.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize