Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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