quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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