next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
