im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
