It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
